Family: Ups & Downs
by Moody-Muse
Summary: Two-piece. Family fluff. Just an albatross wouldn't get off my neck till I wrote it. Look within to know the secrets.
1. Ups

**Family two-piece. Fluff. **

**I own nothing except my little spine on the Joss world.**

**Without further ado....  
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"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please? Please? Please?"

A low growl rumbled through the bridge, "No."

Hope pouted at her captain, her arms wrapped around his right leg and her lip pouting out at him.

Mal refused to even look at the adorable four year old. Who knew his merc and his witch could make such cute little ones?

Hope stamped her foot and whined, "Uncle Cap'n Mal! Please!"

Mal clenched his jaw as he felt himself giving up.

"Listen here little Hope, I ain't playin' dress up or make up or any other up wit' ya. Yer s'posed ta be in bed. Go try playing lay down. Get."

Hope pursed her lips as she looked around the deserted bridge.

Her uncles and aunts were all sleeping, her cousins too. Mommy and Boppa were sleeping and baby Mattie was unsurprisingly sleeping.

"But Uncle Cap'n you're the only other one up! And since Inara's finally sleeping and finally over her pregnancy sickness and ya don't wanna wake her you're gonna be up for awhile! Please!"

Mal looked down and scowled at her. Mistake, he shouldn't have looked.

"What did I say about reading?"

Hope sighed and rested her chin to his thigh, "That it makes everyone uncomfortable when I see what should be personal. And that it's rude and nosy and a no-no."

Mal nodded, "That's right. We've lived with a reader going on six years. Does one get used ta havin' their mind open for reading? Absolutely not!"

Hope scowled as she pouted and Mal knew he was a goner as tears also welled in her bright blue eyes.

"Please Uncle Cap'n? I'll sleep then and I won't complain when ya tell me ta be quiet. And I won't read unless cleared. Please?"

Mal bent and scooped the girl up, walking down the stairs and into the kitchen where Hope's make ups and jewelry were all spread out. Mal gulped, especially to see the hair things.

"The things I do for my girls." he muttered and Hope giggled, "It's cause ya love me, love us all!"

Mal kissed her forehead and grumbled, "And cause ya all got me wrapped around yer little fingers liken I was a pretty bauble."

Hope kissed him on the nose and crawled on the table as she applied makeup first.

Somewhere in between funny smelling powder and cold beads on his neck Mal felt his eyes droop. He yawned and tasted fruity sticky stuff.

Hope watched Mal fall asleep. She cleaned up her things because her Uncle Capn' liked things put away. Grabbing a blanket she covered him up and kissed his cheek, "You look prettiful!" she giggled and left.


	2. Downs

**Here we are....the down to the up...**

**I own naught but for my little spin to it all...**

**Without further ado...

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Morning Cycle:

Mal woke slowly with a crick in his neck and aches in his back. He heard giggling and chuckles. He opened his eyes and frowned to see his crew sanding around him as they tried not to laugh. Inara, his beautiful pregnant wife, held a capture. That didn't sit right with him.

Hope was peeking out at him from Jayne's arms and River held baby Mattie as laughter shook her small body.

"Am I dreaming?" Mal grumbled and the crew burst, laughter poured from Zoe as she held her young daughter, Miranda.

Mal tried to remember why he was waking up at the kitchen table and not the comfy bed he shared with his wife.

River watched the events of last night flood into Mal's head.

Jayne laughed harder as realization light up Mal's made up face.

"Oh merciful Buddha…" Mal stood so quickly it knocked his chair back and his crew laughed hard at him.

"Aw, Cap'n, I think ya look real shiny!" Kaylee giggled out. Mal strode to the cupboard and looked into reflective surface of a pot.

A string of curses flew from his mouth and Simon smirked, "By shiny she is of course referring to the glitter."

Mal looked at the capture in Inara's hands and knew in his gut he'd never live it down.

He spluttered nonsense and Jayne cleared his throat, "Can't take yer anger seriously when yer wearin' a bow and pink pearls."

River smiled to him as he passed her on his way to the shuttle he and Inara shared. He paused beside Jayne and looked down at Hope.

Hope smiled, "I love you Uncle Cap'n?" she offered knowing she had no chance of her captain not being angry.

Mal shook his head and turned back to Inara, "All of you women have me wrapped around your gorram fingers! No more girls on this boat! Merciful Buddha, let the rest be boys! Ornery, messy, troublesome boys!"

Inara set the capture aside and walked to him, cradling her stomach, "Simon checked me over this morning. It's a girl. She's healthy."

Mal stared in joy and fear and River laughed harder as did Hope. Mal hugged Inara and whispered, "I'm a goner."

Hope scrambled over to stand beside his legs and she pulled on his holster. He glared down at her and she smiled, "You may be a goner but now yer a pretty one."

Mal released his wife and sat down at his chair, staring so long at the wall the crew wondered if they'd pushed him too far. Then he chuckled.

Mal kept chuckling until he doubled over and River and Hope had to peek into his mind. They withdrew as they laughed and took their seats.

"What?" Inara asked and River smiled.

"He shall have his revenge. We know how on all of you. He blocks us from our revenge." The jolly crew sobered, a vengeful Mal was a sly Mal.

He stood and kissed Hope's cheek, walking out he hollered, "I'm getting cleaned up! Please let there be coffee when I come back!"

River shook her head as her daughter held her hand out to Inara, Simon and Zoe.

"I swear, the Mal I knew would never have put on makeup." Zoe shook her head and handed Hope the credits she earned from the bet.

Jayne smiled to see his little girl earn coin like a true Cobb.

River whispered, glancing to the shuttle, "He's not sergeant Malcolm anymore. He's Captain Daddy, Uncle Cap'n. He is the lovely bauble wrapped around our fingers. More of a heart shaped bauble."

Mal came back in and snatched the capture. He pressed play and watched it through, his eyes narrowing at the end.

Holding it up he hissed, "A bet?"

Each crew member froze, and they saw their chores to complete for the week double and the moment of their revenge double times three.

Hope spoke first, "We're all goners."

No one dared mumble in agreement as Mal clenched the capture tightly.

Mal thought to himself, _'Revenge will be sweeter than that fruity sticky gloss I was wearin'_.'


End file.
